The Show

Finally, tomorrow is the day of the DVD release and it should be in my mailbox.

Yes, I'm talking about Twilight. All added extras. All benefits. All Edward Cullen. I'm having some friends over (well, since I'm homeless it's actually some friends having me over) to drool a little bit over the perfect handsomeness of the swoonable vampire who will always stay a rolemodel for any BF's to come.

(A very hard spot to fill from now on I might add. Very. Hard. Indeed.)

So, hurry up Wednesday night in front of the telly. Please. I beg you. I need to escape reality, if just for a little while. I need the rescue bit right now (I have sooo watched Pride and Prejudice too many nights in a row, it's really getting to me, all the romance and drama... My God!) and I need to pretend I too have a knight in shining armour waiting for me somewhere out there.

(Preferably in the shape of a pale and mesmerising vampire!)

Aaaaaw....

30 Things About Me You Didn't Know...

1.I've had nearly all colours of the rainbow in my hair. To name a few: blueberry, grey, black, fushia, green, lilac, red and orange.

2. When I was younger I wanted to be an actress, firefighter, ballerina, circusartist, singer and a "starchild" like Elizabeth in the TV show "V". And all at the same time... (But now I just want to be kissing Edward, nothing else - Twilighters out there, y'all know what I'm talking about!)

3. I went to Music school because there was "nothing else to do". (But happened to looooove it when I did.)

4. I'm terrified of spiders. Even the teeny tiny red ones that can't barely be seen.

5. I'm not scared of snakes though...

6. I always manage to stay up too late for my own good. Even though I try to get to bed on time. (Never happens though...)

7. I miss London. Alot.

8. I've always always wanted to go to Boston, MA. A childhood dream. Just because of the love of pickled cucumber that in Sweden is called "Bostongurka" (Boston cucumber).

9. My favourite English word is....thingie (not even a real word, but it comes in handy ALL the time, trust me.)

10. I still hate school....

11.With all the money in the world, I'd still go Primark aaaall the way. (Cheap and cheerful!)

12. I haven't seen the movie The Piano.

13. Even today I cry a bit when I hear my favourite song from childhood by Debbie Gibson. "...I get lost in your eyes...." *sniffle sniffle*

14.I bought my first mobile phone at the "tender" age of 23. (And I'm still finding it hard to get them to understand me!!)

15. I know the song "The wheels on the bus" off by heart, all due to my beautiful Daughter.

16. I'm dead scared of heights, but would climb anything to save the ones' I love!!

17. I've shot a Glock 9 once at a security training course, and LOVED IT!!!!!

18. As a little tomboy I made all my Barbie's into punk warriors with tattoos and piercings. We used to keep the Ken-dolls in an old birdcage used as a prison. Girrrl Power!!!!

19. My love for Mr Ol' Blue Eyes, Frank Sinatra is eternal. My favourite song by him is "Summerwind". Still gives me chills when I listen to it.

20. I love poker. And I'm quite good at it.

21. I've lived in my flat for 3 years and still haven't managed to put up a proper shower curtain.

22. I'm a sucker for American TV shows. How I met your Mother, Grey's Anatomy, One Tree Hill (swoon), Greek (swooooon), Moonlight and Priviliged - you are my life!!!

23. I love to swim but hate to been seen in revealing bathing clothes, so it's a catch 22 thing.

24.I have this weird "fascination" for serial killers and I used to save any material I could (books, videos, newspaper clippings) to try to dive deep into their minds and to try to figure out what makes them tick. I still feel this urge to know, I guess that's why I've decided to join the police. (And why Criminal Minds and CSI is never missed on TV).

25. I love the smell of homemade wild strawberry squash and homemade cinnamon cake!! That's the smell of childhood and happy summers.

26. I've watched Twilight too many times for my own good.

27. And I've read the Twilight saga one time too many as well.... (I serioulsly think I need to get myself checked into Twilight Rehab...)

28. I secretly fancy Tom Selleck, and have done so since I was 10. (What?? Magnum's brilliant!)

29. When I was younger I used to sleep for 14 hours consistently, unless my Gran woke me up of course.... (If I didn't have my Daughter I'd still do it...)

30. My biggest fear when I was little was the two old men sitting on the balcony in The Muppet Show. My God, the grumpy dude on the right was freaking me out! I wouldn't watch it unless my Gran sat beside me. (What she never knew was that I was scared of the grumpy old man cos he looked like my Grandad...)

Dream Sailor Dream

I had my strange dream again. The one where I'm flying in the dark and still night. Everything is so quiet and serene. But this time I felt an uneasy chill down my spine when I noticed the owl. I felt like his stare was menacing as he closed in on me...

And then, the scenery changed. Suddenly I was in a car in my hometown with Cappie next to me. We were laughting at something he'd said. I wasn't really paying attention to the road (since he's sooooo gorgeous, of course...) and I crashed straight into the side of another car. Not good!

I remember screaming, not because I was scared, or that we were hurt, but because of the fact that I now would have another insurance nightmare to have to think about.

When I woke up I was actually thinking that it had happened and that I owed someone loads of money for a new car. Until I realised that I'd had Cappie by my side the whole time. I mean, wishful thinking or not...I'd rather not have been in a car accident at all, than having been in one together with someone (as perfect) as Cappie!

Or...would I? Hmm, this will take some pondering over.

Tranquilize

I've just got a job as a saleswoman at an electrical gods shop (Congratulations me!!); Tv's, computers, mobile phones, washing machines etc... My God, I had no idea how hard sales people had to work before. I mean, I've worked in shops (clothes, cosmetics) but not on commission, where everything you manage to sell will get you to bring more food to the table. Hmm, am not too sure this job is for me, but with the economy being what it is, I can't be too fussy, so I'm giving it a go.

The people I work for are nice, and so is the staff. Well, except for this one guy who keeps rubbing everyone the wrong way, accusing us for this, that and the other, for absolutely no reason. (Freak!)

(I bet he'll last long. Not!)

Anyhooo.

The guy that I dated for a while, the Cool Guy, knows some of the staff, so we met up. He now wants to take me out to lunch tomorrow. I'm still not too sure about him... I don't know if there's any spark between us whatsoever, except the fact that I think he's a nice guy who probably won't hurt me and treat me like a wash cloth. I just can't feel IT when I see him. He's very intense and lovely, but the cons are building up again. Like; he works late nights, he's travelling with work - ALOT, he travels for fun - ALOT and he seems too into being single really, though he says he wants a relationship. Might the real reason for him coming after me be that all of his friends are in relationships and having babies and he's not? And am I really willing to stay in this godforsaken town forever because he's stuck here because of his work?

Am I willing to have yet another boyfriend who spends almost every night at work, coming home late or not at all ( since working in the trade he's in, just like my Daughters Dad, means late nights and alot of drinks....)? Will I be satisfied staying at home with my Daughter when he goes on holidays abroad with his mates (just like I had to sit through with my Daughters Dad)?

I'm not so sure...

Human

Being homeless suck monkey's bum...

Seriously, it does!

Ah, well. There are worse things, but wanted to let you know, just in case you were wondering...

An Attempt To Tip The Scales

Happy Easter all!

Have you checked that your Easter bunnies and Easter chickens are intact? Started painting eggs and decorating every inch of your home with brightly coloured feathers? - I haven't. I'm a total bitch when it comes to holidays, whether it's Christmas, Easter och freekin' Halloween. I'm just glad that one of my dearest friends saves my Daughter from my anti-Easter-antics every year! They go out Easter egg hunting, getting dressed up as witches, while I sit at home sulking at the fact that it's Easter...again.

It's getting closer now. I have to start packing our shit up. Moving sucks! Even tough we're just moving all our things into an adjoining room in our flat, it still sucks. And the most sucky part is that we have nowhere to live for the next two months, all because of a surprise water fountain in our kitchen. Not fair! I thought I never had to move around like a nomad again (the London years), unless some sweet prince came to save us. *hint hint*

Speaking of... this one date, that hasn't been much of a date, since we've never actually been on a date yet, has finally asked me out. Or rather; he's asked me to come stay at his house for the weekend. (Ohmigod!) He's the guy who's the father of two little girls, so he should be used to treating girls as princesses. *sigh* Finally!

I think he was thinking of coming to see me last weekend to watch a film, but I was so busy with school I couldn't make the time. We live in different towns, so it's a bit of a trek, but not too bad. We'll make a date some day, a real one, not just over the phone or IM...

I'm biding my time. Waiting for some Karma to come my way (I know, to wait doesn't get you anywhere, but I've been so busy lately with everything, that I feel I earn a break in looking for happiness. So, I'm just gonna sit down and take it easy and wait for a change... and re-read New Moon...)

Things That Break...

Why make your heart strong, just to break it once again...

Split Personality

It's not helpful good guys we're after, we're after bad boys who pretend to listen to what we have to say and who'd come with insightful things like; I've never experienced someone using the butter knife to scoop the butter to death ( looking at the blob of butter where I've previously poked a large hole in the center instead of sliding the butter knife on top of the butter as a more graceful and mature way of retrieving butter.) (My own acquired cute quirk.)

The way we can't work a computer might be another thing the bad boy might comment on as another cute quirk, so that he can look big and strong and helpful, while we work at not knowing, just so we can look endearing and helpless and cute... (Not an acquired cute quirk of mine. I just seriously can't deal with computers at all. I'm a true computer spaz, and it's not endearing. And it's not cute.)

Or, he'll say; you sound sooo cute when you sneeze. (Er, what? Uh-uh. I'm not that stupid. Not any more. You should've tried that on when I was under the age of 25...And no one sounds cute when they sneeze. No one.)

Guys say these things to make them look interested in our small little quirks; their way of saying it makes us look endearing (you know like girls tend to be quirky in romantic films and novels and that makes them endearing and lovable to the man of their affection).

(Sorry girls, in reality they couldn't give less of a fuck. They just want you into bed.)

And anyways...We don't want the good guys. The story's old. We don't go out looking for a sensible man (who'd probably only say sensible things and nothing about our cute little quirks that we've worked really hard to achieve cos we want a man telling us we look cute and endearing) but he'd be there for us; a provider. But he's boring and that's not what we're looking for.

We want adventure and excitement. We want to not know where he's going with the relationship or if it is a relationship at all. If we would we would have sufficed with the nice guys in the world. And then all the James Deans and Matthew McConaugheys of this world would never have touched the big screen...ever!

All I'm saying is...We can go on and pretend that bad boys piss us off. But we're gluttons for punishment. We want the bad boys. We want adventure (Edward Cullen *Le Sigh*). We want glamour and that's what good guys wouldn't be able to provide. They provide security and stability...

Yak! Security and stabiblity. Who would ever want that!??!

Greek

Finally. It's been the longest wait. Greek is back. Cappie must be the essence of a guy we'd all love to be around. (Probably thinking we can't stand him though in reality we're deadly attracted to him. (Hmmm. Sounds oddly familiar.) Silly Casey! What ever is she thinking...)

I've missed you Cyprus-Rhodes. Welcome back! Please don't leave us waiting this long again. It's been hell without you...

Izzie

Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you...