Daughter

It's only one week and one day left until I'm flying my Daughter to Stockholm for her to go see her Dad. He's meeting us at the airport and is taking her to London where he lives. I'm trying not to think about it. I guess that's why I haven't mentioned it in my blog until now. It hurts too much and if I think about it I'll probably not take her to see him. She's scheduled to stay with him until the end of August.

The end of August... that's a very long time... Too long...

I know I'm being selfish, but I love her way too much to bear the thought of not having her with me all the time... she's my life! I want to cry when I think about it, so I just don't. Even now as I'm writing this it feels like I'm detaching myself from the situation, like I'm not writing about myself, but someone else.

I'm going to bury myself in my work. I've been in contact with the manager of my last job at the airport café and she wants me to come work extra there too, so as soon as I get my rota for my main job I'll call her up to see if she's got anything for me. Anything to stop thinking about missing my baby.

Worst part is that her Birthday is going to be while she's in London. I never thought I'd miss even one of her Birthdays, and that gives me chills down my spine thinking about it.

So, I'm going to do what any normal parent would do and block it out until the day arrives and then cry and whine to my friends about it. Go to work, go home, get drunk silly and flirt with lots of boys. Then cry some more and wish that August would just come already!