23 July 2009

Hide & Seek

Not only is my sister still fighting breast cancer... Not only do I still think about my friend C's Mum who lost her battle against this evil spawn of Satan last year...

One of my best friends is now starting her own fight against breast cancer...

Cancer is devious. Cancer is horrid and petrifying and mortal.

My Mum died of cancer when I was only a baby. My cousin nearly lost her life to it after ending up in a coma. I know friends who have lost loved ones to it.

I'm sitting here, in my dark room thinking of my friend E. Her little daughter, less than two years old who might, or might not, grow up with her Mum. (I get an acidic taste in my mouth just thinking the words.) It hurts. There is no other option than life for my friend. There isn't. It would hurt too much losing her, so I won't think the thought. The words will not reach my tongue.

She will live! She is life.

2 July 2009

Bring The Pain

Today has been one of the hardest days...

I spoke to my Daughter on Skype and she started crying uncontrollably; wanting me, wanting to go home. Needing me...

I know she's happy with her Dad. I know she loves it there. But my heart was shattered today by the sound of her quiet sobs wishing for her mummy. And this once I wasn't be able to make her wish come true.

And that hurts. So much...